Darswords

 

I recently noticed something about myself while playing a hidden objects game. To get the objects you needed to proceed through the game you had to revisit places you’ve been before. I sighed a huge sigh and said aloud, “Why do I have to go all the way back there to get this done?” Epitome of laziness? I asked myself. It was just clicks of the mouse to get there. No exercise was involved. But the only reason I was playing a game was because I had no energy at all. I had no incentive to do anything as my fibromyalgia was flaring so badly that I was only one blanket away from crawling under the covers and crying. But I am still looking at how tasks in real life don’t get done because there are so many steps to getting to the real goal. Depression plays a part in this. “What’s the use?” I asked myself. It’s not as though it matters to anyone else.

Then on Friday I got the diagnosis of diabetes and high cholesterol. Really? I am a vegetarian! Not a meat product goes in my mouth! And really, if you look at my family tree is it any surprise that I have it when everyone else did? I eat nothing like my forebears, high fat huge meals, tons of sugar. I rarely have sugar. So after some research I am finally giving up cheese and butter. I was nearly vegan before. Time to suck it up. But exercise?

I find walking BORING AS HELL! I find exercise in gyms BORING AS HELL! When I think about it, I want childhood back. I want a playground made for grown-ups. I want to swing high while singing to the top of my lungs. I want to play hop-scotch or jump rope with friends. I want to sit for hours playing jacks. I might even enjoy getting good at swinging from the rings and hand ladders (whatever those things were called). Four square with friends. Playing hide and seek! If I must I’d like to garden, a little. But I live in an apartment. I’d love to gather twenty cents walk two miles with my brother to the pool and swim ten cents a session then walk the two miles home. That wasn’t exercise. That was fun. But then the swimmer’s ear took over one of my favorite sports. The cold water causes flares now. So what do I do? Virtual life. That seems too stressful and too much effort.

Then I read the latest Dances With Fat and the comments her readers made. At least I am not alone in this journey. I am glad there are people who question the status quo.

Please don’t lecture me. I will delete such comments. But if you can help me find a way to my better health in a pleasant way, I promise to look at it. I hope something sticks. I hope this penny gets me a bubblegum.