On, the other side, my peacock got a corner filled in.
Floundering is almost over. I think I’ve decided to use March for editing to get ready for April’s camp NaNo.
On, the other side, my peacock got a corner filled in.
Floundering is almost over. I think I’ve decided to use March for editing to get ready for April’s camp NaNo.
 Carol Anne’s blog brings us today’s prompt, “despair.”
JusJoJan is Linda’s fun place to start.
The despair I had when Kali and, within a short while, Teddy crossed the Rainbow Bridge is still hanging on. I don’t know if you ever get over losing someone, even or especially our beloved pets. Even though it was last Spring, these last two losses are still heavy in my heart.
We just watched Dogs.
We watch a lot of vet and zoo shows. I can’t help but think there is a dog that needs me as much as I need her/him.
What hit me was the kind priest who loved dogs near the end of the second season of Dogs and the despair those poor dogs felt living on the street with no one to love them. I believe there is a sweetie or two out there for me. That is the hope that heals my sadness.
He came to us by way of Garden Grove on a long drive to Reno. Kieu was loading her car for the trip to see her boyfriend. It was three in the morning. Suddenly this little tiger kitten hopped in the car.
Kieu bought a disposable kitty litter and a small amount of food and water for the kitten’s first car trip. The kitty sat on Kieu’s shoulder as co-pilot, or Argh the cat.
It was too late to do a door-to-door search for a missing cat. Kieu did her due diligence the next morning by calling her mother to see if their neighbors were missing a kitten. No.
So Kieu asked if we wanted the kitten. Of course.
It was love at first sight. Mister Golden Eyes. Tiger Eyes. Dragon Eyes. Names ran through my head. Nothing quite did the job. I looked over at our tuxedo cat, Panda. OH! We have a Panda Bear. How about a Teddy Bear to make the team?
And he was a cuddly Teddy Bear. When not cuddling, he was energy-plus. He could rocket through a room, flying for places only a bird could. He kept me busy. He kept me company while my husband worked nights, and I felt so alone for a while.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was in pain. Teddy could figure out where I hurt the most. He would climb on me and curl up. Then he would purr the pain away. I called him the magical kitty.
Teddy slept with me. If it was cold, he would crawl under the covers with me.
There was only one problem. Everything we owned soon smelled like Teddy. He scratched and sprayed everything. I still have things I can’t repair or eliminate the scent. But he was mature enough to get neutered. That problem was easily fixed. Now my little buddy was at his best.
Teddy was happy if I read to him, if I sang and played the piano, or if I needed to chat. He was there.
One day, Teddy slipped out of the apartment. He just disappeared. I thought it was months. I missed him so much. I cried in worry that he would be hit by a car or someone awful would hurt him.
Chris says it was about a week that we got a phone call. The lady said that she had a cat on her bed whose tags said Teddy and had this phone number. He had just wandered into this apartment that looked like all the others in our complex. He had just wandered in like he lived there.
I was in a lot of pain. Emotionally and physically. I couldn’t leave the house. Chris went to the lady’s place to get him.
Oh, my goodness, he was skinny and dirty. He looked like he’d been living under cars this whole time. Now that he was back, I was going to make sure he didn’t get out again. It was time to fatten him up and clean him up. It took a while.
We were at our weekly writer’s meet when we got a call. Panda had been playing and suddenly dropped dead. We were told it was either a heart attack or a stroke. That was sad for all of us. Panda was a gorgeous cat. He has a story of his own.
Okay, let me take the side trip. When we lived in Riverside, we found a kitten howling in the mall parking lot. My daughter and I looked everywhere and found this little guy in a wheel well of a car. He had a little white mark that made him look like a priest. My daughter named him Limey. Don’t ask why. I have no idea.
Limey would play fetch. He was a smart little guy. We all loved him. The kids were getting ready to move out into their own lives. The cat that raised them, as second mom, Kimberlina (Kimbie), was quite ill. She was very old. We think about twenty years old. Limey gave us a bright spot in the day.
But it was near Halloween. Limey was a black cat. Suddenly he disappeared. We didn’t know where. We put out ads. Suddenly there was a call. This lady said she knew she didn’t have our kitten. But this was a black cat that looked to be dipped in white paint. He had been on the lady’s roof for days as he was afraid of her dogs. Would we take him instead?
Well, yes. Never got Limey back. Never sure what happened. But Panda was now a part of our household. Kimbie passed about that same time.
So back to the moment. Panda passed of a heart attack, and Teddy was the only bear. He seemed lonely. So for the first time, we pursued getting a cat. In our lives, cats appear, and we grow together. But Teddy needed a furball friend. So we found Rosey at the shelter. She fell in love with Chris. She is his cat. But she was a friend for Teddy.
And so when we moved from Reno to Christmas Valley, Teddy and Rosey were on leashes and loved the trip. They loved their new home with h more room than that tiny apartment. Teddy had me. Rosey had Chris. Then a new dog came to live with us. Teddy thought I had betrayed him, and he stopped coming to me. He stayed with Rosey and Chris while I learned to bond with Kali, who seemed to be in need of a service person.
These last few years together. Teddy and Kali cuddled close to each other to keep warm. They seemed to watch out for each other. And both kept me warm and feeling loved.
Just midnight, when Chris woke me, Teddy was no longer with us. I can’t stop crying, but I am glad we didn’t have to take him for that hour-and-a-half ride to the vet. That is a hard ride for all of us. But he chose to go in his sleep. He is no longer in pain. But gosh, I miss him. My little buddy. I didn’t know I had so many tears in me.
In dedication to him, I will have a ginger boy in the NaNoWriMo I’m writing who is a curious, adventurous, but a lovable boy. His name will be Teddy. At least Mr. Golden Eyes will live little longer in fun and action!
After so much medicine and trips to the vet, poor Teddy is still going downhill. It is breaking my heart. He’s lost so much weight and still has a hard time breathing. We have an appointment for tomorrow, I hope he can make it and they have help for him.
“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Found in the book by Julia Cameron, It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again.
I’m grateful for my new laptop but have to admit my frustrations of starting over. All my writing in yWriter7 and WriteItNow and Scrivener are stuck in RTF form and tons of work awaits to bring them back to life. So that’s my time lately in a nutshell.
Sadly I have to report I didn’t get but half my word count goal this month. But I had a marvelous time with family and friends, so not really complaining. Just reporting.
While my brother and husband did the vet run. My son and I cleaned. He worked on the out of control mud room. I shampooed the carpets. It was nice not to have furballs in the way. We were successful in our ventures. Now I need to finish cleaning out the shampooer. Yuck!
When I first got to my friend’s house, her cat, Stormagedden-dark lady of all, was afraid of me. I spent a lot of time with treats and toys. I think, now that it’s time to go home, she’s starting to accept me.
The heart got some diamonds. Just didn’t have the back for it. My floor sleeping skills are getting better, but not quite as strong as when I was younger.
Meanwhile, I’m told that Kali sits in my recliner at home howling. It makes me sad and feel like I’m cheating in my pup with Storm. 😢
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