Darswords

Since I started to seriously blog here my health has been an issue. In looking for answers I reacquainted myself with …

Blogs I Love

For one of those blogs I needed to write a letter to the owner describing me here and now. Here is what I wrote to her:

Hi Golda,

I love your website! I found it through the blog: Dances With Fat.

I come from half heredity of big people and half skinny-minnies. My children, four adults, three males and then the youngest of the family, female. Only the oldest carries the fat cells, the others took after the skinnies.

My weight has always been a problem for me. But I would love to go back to my fat days of 135! Now I am nearly 75 pounds more than that. I have been a vegetarian for nearly 20 years. When people look at me they don’t believe me. The only thing I have been able to offer is that hippos and elephants are vegetarians also.

Elephant vs hippo (Photo credit: andrew.napier)

Last Friday I learned that I am now diabetic and was told, again, my cholesterol is still high. I did learn my thyroid needs a pill. And more pills on top of the ones for depression/social anxiety, fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, arthritis, etc. No surprise, see above. Cold, changeable weather of Winter causes such pain and mental fogginess that I can’t even get up to shower much less getting into some sort of exercise routine.

In the late spring when the weather is warmer and stable I get out of the house into the sun and have a regular life. So meanwhile, how do I lose the unhealthy weight? I have decided to finally give in and go vegan. Since I hate fish, chicken, eggs and milk, the choice to give up butter, oils and cheese seems easy. With the exception of coconut oil.

English: Coconut oil in solid state (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meanwhile, I am thinking about the last time I lost a lot of weight and how it was due to a shopping trip to Pic-n-Sav, now called Big Lots. I was pushing my cart through the aisles and spotted a huge beautiful woman. Her hair, make-up, clothing, demeanor reeked of glamor and awesomeness. I took one look at her and knew she had some secrets. I could tell SHE LOVED HERSELF AND HER BODY. And pound for pound she was easily three times my size. And though she seemed to tower over me I was looking her in the eye. We were the same height.

She didn’t know it but she saved my life. I walked down the next aisle a little embarrassed that I had been gawking. I looked down at my mouse clothes that were hiding me from the world and decided it was time to start loving me. I was able to go out and get new wonderful clothes. I took pride to look my best and to walk with confidence, ‘fake it til you make it.’

Within a couple months, without really trying, my clothes were too large for me. I didn’t even notice it. A friend took me to shop for clothes and I was flabbergasted to find I was a size 8!

And so, now, at 63, I am hoping, through accepting me and these nasties my body has thrown at me, that I will find that version of myself.

Thanks for the opportunity,

Dar

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• The Coconut Oil Boom. (elephantjournal.com)