It is almost 10 PM. I usually have a couple hours left to get things done. I’m afraid I am petering out early. If I find a bit more before midnight, I’ll try again.
About Me
darsword
Working on my series: Haven. Doodler (zendoodle.com) Music major: voice and piano Mom of four great adults Reiki II practitioner I have been on disability/retired for 10 years now from depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia.
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Tink and I are very sorry you are struggling with energy right now. Perhaps a good night’s sleep will help. Please don’t push yourself to the point of exhaustion. If you need to turn in early, DO IT!
Praying for a better day for you when you awaken.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
It has taken about four nights to finally start feeling a bit of my energy again. I wish those trips didn’t take so much out of me because they are fun. And being able to take Kali with me is even more fun. So I need to figure out how to make it less stressful on my body. Thanks for caring! 🙂
It breaks my heart to think that you have to limit fun to avoid paying for it later. I had a myomectomy many years ago that allows me a bit of true empathy.
They warned me about “fluctuating energy” – but I had no idea that meant that a good day would be followed by two when I couldn’t get out of bed! I worked in an office at the time, and when I went back to work I came home and went back to bed for easily a month.
After a few months it was all behind me, however. How I wish that it were the same for you.
xx,
mgh
Well, that’s sweet. Thank you. But you know, as we get older more and more people have this problem from one angle or another. Sorry you had to go through it. One of my friends is cancer-free after suffering cervical cancer. She goes through the ebb and flow of energy. Another friend has rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She goes through it, too. When I worked, against doctor’s orders, at JoAnne’s because I figured working with crafty people and fun stuff would give me energy and a bit of spending money. And the store was right across the street from where I lived. Which worked for a while but as weather got cold it got worse. By the time I had to quit, I was home, in bed, more than at work. Luckily as I went through 5 years there I collected lots of crafty things that I never had the energy for then, I do now. All the looms and fabrics and other goodies I acquired on sales-employee discounts (yay!). But I never had the energy for even those until now nearly a decade later. So energy is what I need to keep learning from and adjusting my life according, being thankful when I do have some and do what I can. That is one reason I am blogging it to see what I could do to help myself find more energy, more fun. I do find fun where I can. Kali helps me with that. We were out chopping down weeds a while ago. She was bouncing around and I would laugh. I didn’t do a lot but I can see a difference just in what I could do.
I used to be unlimited energy. A friend once said I was burning the candle at both ends. I remember laughing and telling her that I had broken the candle so I am down to pure wick. Never had to think about it. Just did what needed to be done. Now I need to figure out how to make more wick and add back the wax. 😉
BOY can I relate to that – even though I don’t have anything approaching your struggles with energy. I was the Energizer Bunny for decades, and only now am I beginning to wonder how I ever did it all.
If I didn’t have Tink, sometimes I wonder if I’d ever go outside again – and, like you, I never even thought about getting out and about (at all hours of the night and day).
btw- my mom worked in a couturier fabric store at one point so that she could afford the fabrics she preferred. After my mom’s death my late sister and I spent an entire day cleaning out her sewing room. Most of it went to Goodwill (where I doubt it was fully appreciated for what it was) – but my sister took a great deal home with her, since she was the more active sewer at the time. Made almost all of her wardrobe – even her coats. I knew there was something *seriously* wrong when, on a visit, I saw that she had to take frequent rest breaks cutting out a pattern for a single garment. Not THAT put a whole other face on her reports of “low energy!”
Love the wick/candle metaphor. Hope today is a better day, energy wise – and that you don’t overdo so you have to pay for it later. Tough to judge that line, I imagine.
xx,
mgh
I’m sorry for your losses, Mother and sister. For my mother, it was pancreatic cancer. We both used to love walking around in the mall. One of my last memories is her sitting every few steps. Yes, like you said, a whole different face on the energy issue. She didn’t know it until they did surgery and then the end came fast. No. My lack of energy and pain levels are not that great in comparison. I do recover. She didn’t.
Part of me is jealous at the inheritance of fabric. The part of me that has back problems when I bend over the machine to sew is not. It must have been nice for your sister to think about your mother as she made and wore the clothing passed to her in love.
As for Goodwill, a lot of people are professional shoppers in second-hand stores and they know quality products at discount. I have not been so lucky when I’ve shopped like that. I learned this when I managed I high-end second-hand store for a while. I picked up some nice clothes there only because the owners pointed out the good stuff. But on my own, I wouldn’t have been swayed one way or another. I like looking nice but comfort wins, even way back then.
Thanks for the love and concern. You’re the sweetest!
Hugs to you and Tink!
XX back!
Dar
Thank you for your empathy. I am so sorry to read about your mother’s passing as well, and in that manner. That must have been so difficult for you – but a relief that she didn’t linger long in suffering. I’m relieved to read that you recover from your own struggles with energy – and hope you are reading this on a GREAT day, physically.
It has been years since the passing of Mom and Jaye (metastasized breast cancer complicated by Type I diabetes), but they never fade from my consciousness, and in my memory they are both almost always young, beautiful and full of energy. I miss their laughter most of all.
My mother’s fabric stores were amazing indeed. You would have loved much of it (and ALL the notions and equipment, I’m sure). I’m comforted to read that someone who appreciated the fabrics etc. that my sister and I donated in my mother’s name might have needed a bargain and felt blessed by the find. My mother was smiling down that day, I’m sure.
Jackie could make anything you could buy as long as it could be sewn on a machine (she even had cute labels and referred to her efforts as JacquesGrif creations) – but she refused the “workman-like” tasks and most sewing for men beyond an entire collection of gorgeous ties for my father during his working days. Shirts, for example – were almost always purchases (and jeans, when they weren’t yet a fortune!), but she used to send glorious couture additions to my wardrobe when I lived in NYC – and everything fit like a glove because she had muslins of my body and my sisters and knew our taste (which was very different).
Some things she could whip up by the dozens in a little over a day (like the pencil skirts I loved at one point – I had enough to practically go into business – lol). If she sent a suit, it always included at least 4 pieces: skirt, pants, jacket, vest — and sometimes a coordinated coat! She had the separates concept down pat! (Very creative, my mom – she was also a gourmet cook and had a fabulous decorating eye).
My own sewing time became non-existent, eventually, but I never made much “from scratch” after learning how anyway. I altered and repaired fastenings on wonders purchased for a song but not actually my size, for example, turning frogs into princes. Since she taught me to understand the mechanics of clothing construction and the qualities of various fabrics, I could always tell the underpriced goodies from overpriced nonsense – and could see immediately what could be altered easily and what would be a chore (and probably disappointing, ultimately).
I also made items for my various apartments that would otherwise have been pricey and could be whipped together quickly: curtains, pillows, embellished basic bedding, etc.. Unlike Jaye and my mother, I never really enjoyed the process so much as the anticipation of the result. They both seemed to enjoy seeing for its own sake, and I’m guessing that you have more in common with them.
But, like you, these days I seem to live in leggings! No longer the fashion plate, it’s totally about comfort (and ease of care) at this stage of my life.
Enjoyed our little chat – I wish it could have been over a cup of coffee! Tink sends his woofs.
xx,
mgh
Wow! What wonderful memories! I would have loved to learn what you did, even if I couldn’t sew for long. I do a little of the repair bits but even that is hard now as the eyes have a hard time threading needles. Ah, but such wealth you had with sisters and mother of great talents! Speaking of mothers, yes, it was a relief that she didn’t suffer longer than she did. Maybe if the doctors could have diagnosed her sooner rather than telling her it was all in her head she would still be around? She did have a fighting spirit. She was a force to be reckoned with! Thanks for this chat! It has been fun. I’ll take chai or another tea, though. Coffee gives me headaches. 🙂 Hugs from me and Barks from Kali to Tink!
Tink says woof back to Kali. And Tink’s mom says to just put her out of her misery if she ever has to give up coffee. 🙂
My mother never had the patience to actually TEACH sewing – or anything else, actually, but she was always available for questions and was a wealth of information about many things she shared as she sewed. As long as I was helpful and careful not to distract her when concentration was needed, I could hang around and watch what she did – and that’s how I picked up both sewing and cooking (not housekeeping – lol).
Depending on how long ago they dx’d your mothers cancer, she might well have been better off not knowing earlier. My Dad’s best friend spent many months in a hospital bed, as they tried literally everything to save him from pancreatic cancer – unsuccessfully, ultimately. He was miserable for much of that time, and I’m sure if he had it to do over he would have preferred to spend that time at home with his family – even if it shortened the time he had to spend.
So do your best not to let the “if only” thoughts get to you. They’re still not great fighting that particular cancer.
xx,
mgh
That’s kind of how I learned from my mom. I never got the cooking gene. I’m one of the only vegetarians in the family. Even my kids are carnivores. So if I can throw it on a plate to warm it up, chop it up to put in a bowl, or a quick stir fry, I hate the kitchen and get out as quickly as possible. There are so many more things to do! I learned my sewing from my aunts, along with the knitting, crocheting, and loving children. They taught me better parenting than I got at home. I baby sat their kids. Made popcorn and Mac n Cheese and that was my culinary expertise in play.
Yeah, I get it about the what ifs. And you are right it is still a quick cancer. She at least had time to talk with us all and end with dignity.
I was a colossal failure at knitting and crochet – don’t like hand work of that type generally. Even hemming is a toleration – but if I have a half-decent kitchen I do enjoy cooking. I consider it a creative outlet with benefits. 🙂 Cleaning up afterwards – not so much (I don’t currently have a dishwasher or room for one).
I babysat too – until I went away to college – and was left in charge of my younger siblings from the time I was 11. I love kids, but I think that may be the reason I never agonized over not having them. I remember the time and energy it required to do a decent job. I’m content to be a Shih Tzu mom.
How lovely to die with dignity, actually. I pray that will be granted to me when my time comes.
xx,
mgh
That was supposed to “SEWING” for it’s own sake, btw. Sticky keyboard combined with autocorrects efforts make me crazy!
xx,
mgh
I didn’t notice! LOL! My keyboard has an ‘L’ that takes force to push. So often you might see, if I don’t catch it O and wonder. And yes, autocorrect is helpful sometimes but it is better than typing on my lllllaptop! 🙂
Whenever I “chat” in the comments section I use TextEdit and copy over (faster, and I don’t lose comments when the WordPress Gremlins are coding) – but it has a lighting fast autocorrect feature and rarely guesses right. Only after I hit send do I seem to catch the remaining errors.
I can type 75 wpm on a decent keyboard – with very few errors – but I have NEVER been able to type on a laptop – or a phone.
As much as I use my computer, I really NEED to replace the keyboard, but I can only use the older ones (what they call “clicky”). Most touch-typists can’t type at all without auditory and tactile feedback any faster than we could hunt and peck. I keep telling myself that I need to take this one apart and thoroughly clean it with alcohol before I send it to a possibly premature grave (but, of course, THAT hasn’t made it to the top of my to-do list either!)
If you haven’t already, pop off your “L” and check under it- there might be a crumb food or miniature dust bunny that is causing the problem.
xx,
mgh
Not sure what you mean by TextEdit. I am writing here where the bell drop-down of comments and likes show up. I like it because I can click ‘like’ to show the person I saw it, even if I need more time to think through a response. But my Grammarly doesn’t show me my mistakes as well here.
I am not a fast typist even though I, too, learned touch typing. And I do turn on sounds when I am novel writing because I like that sound. I have a Bluetooth keyboard but since I am writing on my bed, on my lap, one more thing (which includes two cats and Kali) just becomes unwieldy. The reason the ‘L’ is tough is that the cap came off. We cleaned the area and glued it back but it got hard to push. That messes up my spelling and typing in seriously crazy ways. I don’t understand why it affects me so badly. My brother is still using an old typewriter to write because of his aversion to computer keyboards so I understand.
TextEdit is a Mac thing – I think it’s like NotePad on a PC? I’d use Word, but it tends to slow down my browser – and I also use the drop-down box on WPress – for short comments.
I can write with pen and paper practically standing on my head, but can’t TYPE anywhere but in front of my computer. My High School typing teacher was a total bully about how much ergonomics mattered (she’d make us start over or take points off). I am so grateful for that, actually – because I’m the only person I know who has typed as much as I have throughout my life who hasn’t been troubled by carpal tunnel or back problems. When I was acting I hired out for temp assignments where I sometimes had to copy type for 12 hours straight! That’s where I picked up my speed.
I could explain why your L messes you up (brain-based) but it’s complex and long, so I’ll just say I get it and experience the same thing.
xx,
mgh
SO sorry. I was in bed early last night as well. Had quite a headache, which turned into a migraine this morning. 😦 Now I don’t feel like doing anything, even though my head feels better.
I hope you get some energy surges soon 🙂
I hope you are feeling better now. I come from a family of migraine-sufferers. Luckily that’s not something I inherited. But I have seen my grandmother and mother go through days of dark rooms with bucket nearby. I don’t know how you can go on the computer with a migraine. Must be horrid if that is your job. I do understand there are better meds now that back then but… bless you for caring while hurting! Hope you feel better soon.
I am ALL better, thank you 🙂
I wouldn’t work with a migraine, no. I’ve had to from time to time, but more when I was younger and teaching. When I have a migraine I turn out the lights or put on a sleep mask and lie down.
I hadn’t had one in a long time, so I’ll count myself lucky.
Oh, good! Yay! for feeling better!