This showed up in my creativity workbook today.
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.–Joseph Campbell (page 150, It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again, Julia Cameron

This showed up in my creativity workbook today.
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.–Joseph Campbell (page 150, It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again, Julia Cameron


I was just researching my first blog about Kali. Maybe the archives don’t go back to December 9th, 2016. That’s the day Laura, my daughter brought Kali to me. The first blog I can find is This One. There is a picture of me from when Kali was still my grandpuppy and lived with Laura.
Now, this picture will make me cry forever. Kali is so sweet and full of energy. It is hard to remember her from back then. But if you do a search on the name Kali on my blog, you will see she even had her own blog for a while.
Please forgive me as I journey down memory lane.
As I said, Kali was Laura’s dog. They were inseparable. Laura took her everywhere. They shared a home with Logan, her brother, and Vader, Logan’s huge dog. Sometimes my brother and I would pet sit if the offspring had to go to a place where dogs weren’t allowed. Kali would sleep with me. Vader would sleep with my brother.
I felt we connected during those short visits.
Soon Laura decided it was time to get her own apartment. Kali didn’t like being alone while Laura went to work. Separation anxiety caused Kali to rip up Laura’s apartment.
Our house had four adults home all the time. We all thought we might be able to help her. And so it was decided Laura brought Kali to me on my birthday in December 2016. Doesn’t that seem a long time ago?
~~~
Please excuse me while I curse internally for a moment. I had a LONG blog ready to publish and only the top bit was saved. I am going to attempt to rewrite the WHOLE thing, even though it was full of painful memories. But I best get on with it.
~~~
Kali, a rat-terrier, had a lot of energy. We rarely had a quiet day at first. And that was good for me. Even though it was a very cold winter, I had to take her outside. I got a good tam that first year. We did a lot of playing in the yard or taking walks. She loved rides in the truck.
If you wanted to see a dog dancing pirouettes pull out the leash. It was hard to hold still but she wanted to go badly enough that she’d hold still to let you put on the harness or the coat if needed.
But she had social anxiety and couldn’t tell who was good or bad. She might attack the sweetest dogs and made some walks very scary for me.
After three donut turns at night, Kali would curl up in her ‘donut dog’ shape and sleep with me. It made me laugh every night.
Before Kali came it was only Teddy and Rosey. Teddy divorced me the minute Kali moved in. I tried to explain to him that I still loved him but he wouldn’t sleep with me or sit on my lap for the longest time. Only recently did he come back to me sleeping in the bed and spending lap time. I’m glad he forgave me before he left us for that rainbow bridge a few weeks ago.
Though we only had her for seven years it seem like we were together forever. Kali was a part of my daily life. Even with her quirks, she was my best friend.
In the last few months Kali was diagnosed with doggy’s Alzheimer’s, arthritis, cataracts. Her inability to see and her confusion would have her lost in a corner here or there. She was in a lot of pain and we finally had to give up outside jonts as she could get hurt falling up or down the steps or get lost in bushes. We lined our house with piddle pads and eased her shame that it was all she could do. I gradually had to have her sleep on a little bed at the foot of my bed. I felt badly that she couldn’t sleep with me but she fell off the bed so many times and I was always scared she might hurt herself. This whole process was so painful for all of us. From the high energy of her youth to seemingly older than us in the end. Taking care of an elder dog is heartbreaking.
~~~
I know there was more here but I forgot what I wrote drat it!
~~~
So the last couple weeks she just got more and more tired, just laying at first on the sofa but soon even that was too dangerous so we would scoope her up and put her on either the bed in our room or the bed in the living room where she was right on the floor.
The last few days she gave up food and water. We could no longer give her the pain meds as they needed food or she’d get sick. This was so hard. Look up what to expect from a dying dog. She was all that list. The only good was she preferred lap time with me and I would spend that time talking to her and petting her ears. She loved that.
We live so far from a vet that the trip to have her euthanized seemed crueler than just easing her with love. Yes there was pain but that trip is very painful.
We four adults took shifts in the last days so that she was never alone. We did all we could to keep her comfortable and knowing she was loved.
At 5:11 this morning my husband woke me (I’d just gone to bed at 3:30) and told me that Kali went peacefully.
I woke to an already cleaner house as my brother had picked up and thrown away all the piddle pads and all the bedding and towel were in the washer. He even had a small funeral with the little cat outside as witness. We were all wet faced for several days. Kali is missed. How many dogs love loom knitting?
Here’s a little poem my husband, Chris created with the IA program.
A loyal friend who loved to play,
A furry companion who brightened each day,
A faithful pet who stole our hearts,
Our beloved dog who now departs.
With wagging tail and happy bark,
You greeted us each time we embarked,
On walks and runs and games of fetch,
Your presence made us feel so blessed.
You snuggled close on cold, dark nights,
Your warmth and love were shining lights,
You listened closely to our tales,
And licked our tears when we felt frail.
But now you’re gone and we’re alone,
Our hearts are heavy, our souls are moan,
We’ll miss your smile, your silly ways,
And cherish memories of better days.
Rest in peace, dear furry friend,
Your love and loyalty will never end,
Though you’re no longer by our side,
In our hearts, you’ll always reside.
Made by Chris https://openai.com/blog/chatgpt
Thank you, SARK


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wild animal.” Choose a wild animal (or many wild animals) and use it any way you’d like in your post. Enjoy!
Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas – 1914-1953
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From The Poems of Dylan Thomas, published by New Directions. Copyright © 1952, 1953 Dylan Thomas. Copyright © 1937, 1945, 1955, 1962, 1966, 1967 the Trustees for the Copyrights of Dylan Thomas. Copyright © 1938, 1939, 1943, 1946, 1971 New Directions Publishing Corp. Used with permission.
Dylan Thomas
Dylan Marlais Thomas, born October 27, 1914, in South Wales, was the archetypal Romantic poet of the popular American imagination
In other words fight like a wild animal. I’m not ready to talk much more about it. Just know, my poor Kali is fighting against the machine. Old age is mean even to dogs.

I usually try to be uplifting. But situational depression is attacking. Cold, windy weather,
Treadmill broken waiting for companies to do their part in replacing or fixing this unit.
Probably the biggest weight is my poor dog as she goes downhill. Nothing we can do. It’s part of life.

And my therapy is knitting. Unfortunately I’ve spent today making and tinking two heels. A whole day just to get back where I started.
Something I learned in real therapy is to look for the good of the day. Okay. I got my resistance bands in the mail. I plan to try them out tomorrow.
I did get a bit of editing done. I just wonder how much my mental state affects my writing and knitting. Maybe I should take a couple days off and knit hats and color. Then it might be more soothing to my spirit.
What do you do when life sucks and you want to cheer up?

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Now, this was a fun book. How is it I never heard about it until recently? I wish I hadn’t finished it so quickly. Luckily, there is a book two, so as soon as Libby has it available, I can go back into M’s world and watch brains form in the once-dead zombie.
Go check out the blurb on GoodReads or Amazon. But maybe, like me, you only need a good friend to tell you this is fun. You need a fun read. Here it is!
Hopefully, the pingbacks for Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday work. I haven’t much more to say. And besides, I need to write a review. That is all.
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I’m sorry. I know this is beloved by so many people. For me, it was weeks of reading time I will never get back again.
Could it be due to listening to it on Audible? Maybe. I do know that I rarely knew whose point of view that was being presented. I didn’t even realize there were four daughters, not three, until the end of the book. I do wish that audio narrators would give us more flags of POV change.
I was raised reading missionary stories. My grandmother had a bookshelf of these stories. I loved reading about the missionaries going to foreign countries or continents. Of course, the issues of how women were treated were not in the books for my middle-grade group reads. Later I noticed how PKs and preacher’s wives were treated. Some with great respect, others with disdain, and worse. It makes me sick to know how the father treated the main characters in this book. And equally badly how the natives were treated. Nothing new there. When will humans learn to treat others with respect even when they don’t look or worship as we do?
I’m sure there are those who love this book. Maybe it was where I was mentally when I read (listened to) this book. I don’t want to ruin it for you. Enjoy.
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