I was always moved to the front because of talking. Can I help it they want to talk to me? Even the teacher at the desk in front. I think of it as a super-power!
Category: Mental Health/Personality
Chill out! Just because we had a tiny bit of snow on Halloween,
Doesn’t mean it’s Winter.
But we can’t lie around like that person. Sigh! I miss summer. Okay, not the extreme drought, or constant fires, but the beaches, time to swim. Time with friends. Friends still with us, and those chillin’ on the other side.
For the Halloween, All Saints Day, Dia de Los Muertos, Samhain celebration/tradition, I just consider it a remembering, I wrote letters to friends, family, God. It helped my deep depression to bring my spirit to a level of energy. Their spirits seem near enough even if I can’t hear what they are saying to me.
When I felt the need to listen, I pulled out the new Yarn Tarot Cards a friend gave me last year. Just like the pictures above help me communicate, pictures, archetypes, (look up the psychiatrist, Jung) help unlock our brains to communicate with ourselves and others.
I had hoped the Yarn Tarot would have patterns to knit or crochet–they missed a good chance! Rather, these are pictures similar to Rider -Waite cards that can spark my imagination. Other people need more elaborate pictures.
We all need that help, prompts. I had a teacher in grade-school who had a box of pictures to help out creative writing. In college, I learned you can pick up any book. Randomly, open close your eyes, pick a spot. The sentence or scripture you land on is something to ponder or write about. Most of the time it guides you. But as my dad would say. Watch out for being too literal. After all, Scripture says, “Judas hung himself.” “Go, ye and do likewise.”
But my stream is meandering as it often does.
The wisdom I gleaned remind me to be calm. To not jump to conclusions
In other words:
CHILL
Wow. With summer heat and humidity, not to mention ADHD with non compliant stresses, progress is slow. But my super power is running.
Even the smallest amount of progress will get the job done eventually. It is in the giving up that nothing happens. Except drama. Reliving trauma never brings positive results. Acknowledging the downside, not jumping in and feeling sorry for myself, helps me survive and thrive.
In this case:
Talking too much, distracting thoughts, feelings, actions, and resulting health issues. They all are there. It was worse when I was working in jobs that weren’t healthy for me.
I wish when I’m interrupting I could say I’m sorry. But I believe that sorry implies a will to change. Sadly, in my 74 years that change is detrimental to my health. Every time.
I was Hermione raising my hand with the answer. But being fair, I let others answer first. By the time the teacher called on me my mind had already gone a thousand places and I couldn’t even remember the question. Then someone else would get it right and it was exactly the answer I knew I knew. And I knew what I had to say was unimportant. That my gold star was unimportant.
Yet learning was the reward. Still is. And friends. And family. But ADHD threatens all of it. Unless I do little bits. Many, many little bits.
I’ll never be a concert pianist or win great awards from my efforts of anything. But I have to be happy with my little wins. And keep trying to be a human who does her best to be kind.
Anyway. My little win is my new slipper socks.
And because I love how that arch feels I’m trying it on the watermelon shorty socks.
My Duolingo is still going but Chinese is as hard as Hebrew and Navajo. I tend to lose a lot of hearts. But I find a successful language like Italian to play with until I build the hearts up.
My music is even harder to get to because of heat and disruptions. But. I will keep trying to get all my passions back into my daily schedule. I miss having a good routine that pushes me to try.
So there we are. Making Monday in August.
Well, it’s the same ole story. Yesterday I found a mistake a few rows back and today I’ve been Tinking back. I still haven’t reached the boo-boo. And I find the number of stitches on each needle is so different I’m going to have to get creative to get the number to match. Or tink even farther. Ugh!
When I was a young adult, my grandmothers had Alzheimer’s. Yeah. Both maternal and paternal. So when you all wonder why I work so hard at languages and learning new things and puzzling things like Sudoku, that is a fight I’m on. I’ve not been diagnosed, but at 74 I’m being as vigilant as I can.
And yes, I do repeat stories. I have since I was a child. Most people do. Maybe they don’t realize it. Or maybe they are trying to work something out in this retelling. I remember my grandmothers would tell a story once again and folks would criticize them. But I listened and saw they changed the story a bit each retelling. Sometimes I learned something new about them or others. Sometimes it just was their story. A thing that made them. How I’d love to hear them repeat one of their old tales to me again.
Think about how kids love hearing a book read to them for the umpteenth time. They’re working the story out. The rhythms, the rhymes, how it all works.
I have learned to reread or rewatch things as each time I pick up just a bit more. Not only the story but about writing, directing, acting. Or maybe more about how people differ in their relationships.
Old stories are still packed with nuggets we can learn from. Whether we are telling them or an audience member.
So the groove is coming back!
But…
Remember how Linda had the coloring prompt? It kind of faded for a lot of us. I still want to, but find the setting up and needing a place to comfortably color difficult. Instead, my husband got into the coloring apps. He even found an app that does surprise pictures. There is no outline of shapes in the picture. You just tap the number of the corresponding color. Eventually, there’s a picture. It’s funny/cute when he and I are coloring together. Retirement has it’s surprises!❤️
After I tire of a game or two, while listening to my audiobook, I start coloring. I started the above last night. My eyes got tired so I finished this morning even before coffee. ‘Masquerade’ from Phantom of the Opera played in my head as I finished.
Though I’ve not done much knitting, I did manage 45 minutes on the stationary bike then played a couple pieces on the piano. Yay!
Usually I have lots to share in the progress of my hobbies. But my energy and mood are low.
No amount of busy will help. I know that. So, I’m going through.
On the plus side, I did find one of the ‘hard’ Sudokus in my ‘easy’ book actually easy. But the rest were hard.
Is it the weather or grief raising my pain levels, making me tired? Losing the last of our fur family trio has affected me more than I expected.
So I’m going to sit in the mood and learn what I can.
I had a feeling when I tried to predict rescue-dog-day-date. I think I jinxed it. The car needs oil and tire changes before we can make a longer trip to our little stores here. I am so disappointed. Sometimes, even at 74, being an adult sucks!
Darswords 
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