I’m doing my best to be my usual positive self despite the mully grubs of reality.
Snow. Lots. Just not all at once. It gets to this level, melts and reflakes.
We’ve got a couple more hours then it will be windy.
Meanwhile, my therapy of knitting keeps my hands moving while I process life, pets, and loved ones no longer with us.
My son and his girlfriend are traveling up. Snow or no snow. These socks are for them.
Nearly all the yarn for both pairs has been used up. I hope I’m done by tomorrow evening when they get here.
The reason for their scary mission is a memorial for my first dear sister in love. That’ll be Saturday in Portland. For my son it will be a 12 hour or more drive in much worse conditions than we have here. That’s how beloved Barb was/is for us.
I wanted to go. But my body is telling me that’s too long to be in a car. I used to handle long drives. But, especially being emotionally distraught from the losses of my furry friends, it seems far too much.
My older son is being picked up by the younger couple on the mission. I must admit to being very worried for all of them. As much as I would love to see my nieces and nephews, and sharing my condolences, I just can’t. I think I’ll write a letter or record my thoughts for them.
All of this plays on the huge housecleaning we need from our poor sickly Kali. We’ve done some but we are exhausted and can’t do as much as our younger selves could have accomplished.
One thing at a time. Doing what we can with what we’ve got. Sending and accepting love. Healthy mind and body.
I usually try to be uplifting. But situational depression is attacking. Cold, windy weather,
Treadmill broken waiting for companies to do their part in replacing or fixing this unit.
Probably the biggest weight is my poor dog as she goes downhill. Nothing we can do. It’s part of life.
And my therapy is knitting. Unfortunately I’ve spent today making and tinking two heels. A whole day just to get back where I started.
Something I learned in real therapy is to look for the good of the day. Okay. I got my resistance bands in the mail. I plan to try them out tomorrow.
I did get a bit of editing done. I just wonder how much my mental state affects my writing and knitting. Maybe I should take a couple days off and knit hats and color. Then it might be more soothing to my spirit.
What do you do when life sucks and you want to cheer up?
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is โme.โย Find a word that starts with โmeโ or use the word โmeโ as the theme of your post. Have fun!
Message me, I tapped.
Meanwhile, no answer. Nothing is worse than a lack of response. Especially if you are a mom.
We moms have huge imaginations. If there is a worse case scenario we’ve witnessed it in our heads. From that idea comes the litany of emotional repercussions. They hate us. We hurt them unbearably, we’re sure.
Rationale doesn’t hit. We have to work to find it.
Finally, there’s a new message.
Sorry, Mom. I was asleep. Or I was working.
Total relief from meandering worry, and the mess in our heads. Maybe we need to up the meds.
Black and white has been the constant of my life. It was the nightmares, yet the bright dreams, too. When earliest memories are of sitting in front of the keys and perfection demanded, black and white. No shades of gray.
Suddenly black and white was a super power. I dreamed my house was piano keys. That I had a swimming pool in my black and white kitchen no gray needed.
Per Ms. Hill:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is โblack, gray, and white.โย Use one, use โem all. Bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!
Remember last year when we couldn’t remember what day it was? Yeah. Today.
Between recovering from the Monday doctor’s appointment/shopping trip, and finding myself unhappy with eating eggs, not doing that again, I’m so tired and confused.
I don’t know who recommended this book for me. Whoever, thank you! This was so interesting!
Having borrowed the Libby audio narrated by the author, I now hope to buy the book someday.
The thing is, this is more than a book about depression, or even one person’s account of his own journey. This book includes a bit of history of the diagnosis and treatment for centuries. It also includes how the disorder affects different socioeconomic sets of people.
I highly recommend this for anyone who has gone through depression or know of others who might be suffering. It leads to not only a deeper understanding, but medical issues and ways to find health.
Working on my series: Haven.
Doodler (zendoodle.com)
Music major: voice and piano
Mom of four great adults
Reiki II practitioner
I have been on disability/retired for 10 years now from depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia.
Hi! my name is Sebastian (You can call me Seb!) ...welcome to my Blog. I'm a photographer from Worcester, Worcestershire, England. Thanks for dropping by! I hope you enjoy my work.
Books, games, music, and life โ filtered through the mind of a writer, drummer, and philosopher who thinks too deeply about all of it. If it moves something in your chest, I'm interested.
Darswords 
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