Category: Mental Health/Personality



I’m tired so I’ll only share a couple pics. Maybe tomorrow I’ll write more.

This rock called me to come climb but other campers were set up close so I chose to respect their space. Doesn’t this rock look like it’s talking to his rock friend?
This rock looked smiley, peaceful.
This looks like puppet rocks.
This one was full of personality.
A garden of rocks.
This tent has a skylight. It was great watching the stars at night.
Our tent. Lots of windows. Easy to putย  up and take down. But we two senior ladies had to carry it. And it took a lot of room in the car. It’s a Gazelle.

More tomorrow.


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is โ€œstarts with over.โ€ย Find a word that starts with โ€œoverโ€ and use it for your prompt. Enjoy!

Overwhelmed. I tend to get there. Easy. Too many passwords and ways to change them or keep them. Ugh! Hey, smart people help us less brilliant folks out.

Following this stream… It seems there aren’t enough hours in the day and energy to all the things I want to do or should do. Overwhelmed again.

ADD keeps me inspired to try this or that. Overwhelmed.

If you’ve followed my blog you will see this theme often. I think I have a handle on it, and it seems for a few days, I got it. That’s when I realize other things got left behind that needed to be done.

Bite sized pieces. That’s how we Overed people are supposed to handle it. But I think we need to be satisfied with accomplishments. Thus my blog. I’m not bragging when I share what I’ve finished or been working on. I’m just listing my trying to not feel Overwhelmed.

How I feel inside. Rarely seen outside by others.

Read top down, then bottom up.

I’m doing my best to be my usual positive self despite the mully grubs of reality.

Snow. Lots. Just not all at once. It gets to this level, melts and reflakes.

We’ve got a couple more hours then it will be windy.

Meanwhile, my therapy of knitting keeps my hands moving while I process life, pets, and loved ones no longer with us.

My son and his girlfriend are traveling up. Snow or no snow. These socks are for them.

Nearly all the yarn for both pairs has been used up. I hope I’m done by tomorrow evening when they get here.

The reason for their scary mission is a memorial for my first dear sister in love. That’ll be Saturday in Portland. For my son it will be a 12 hour or more drive in much worse conditions than we have here. That’s how beloved Barb was/is for us.

I wanted to go. But my body is telling me that’s too long to be in a car. I used to handle long drives. But, especially being emotionally distraught from the losses of my furry friends, it seems far too much.

My older son is being picked up by the younger couple on the mission. I must admit to being very worried for all of them. As much as I would love to see my nieces and nephews, and sharing my condolences, I just can’t. I think I’ll write a letter or record my thoughts for them.

All of this plays on the huge housecleaning we need from our poor sickly Kali. We’ve done some but we are exhausted and can’t do as much as our younger selves could have accomplished.

One thing at a time. Doing what we can with what we’ve got. Sending and accepting love. Healthy mind and body.

Depression


I usually try to be uplifting. But situational depression is attacking. Cold, windy weather,

Treadmill broken waiting for companies to do their part in replacing or fixing this unit.

Probably the biggest weight is my poor dog as she goes downhill. Nothing we can do. It’s part of life.

And my therapy is knitting. Unfortunately I’ve spent today making and tinking two heels. A whole day just to get back where I started.

Something I learned in real therapy is to look for the good of the day. Okay. I got my resistance bands in the mail. I plan to try them out tomorrow.

I did get a bit of editing done. I just wonder how much my mental state affects my writing and knitting. Maybe I should take a couple days off and knit hats and color. Then it might be more soothing to my spirit.

What do you do when life sucks and you want to cheer up?


Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is โ€œme.โ€ย Find a word that starts with โ€œmeโ€ or use the word โ€œmeโ€ as the theme of your post. Have fun!

Message me, I tapped.

Meanwhile, no answer. Nothing is worse than a lack of response. Especially if you are a mom.

We moms have huge imaginations. If there is a worse case scenario we’ve witnessed it in our heads. From that idea comes the litany of emotional repercussions. They hate us. We hurt them unbearably, we’re sure.

Rationale doesn’t hit. We have to work to find it.

Finally, there’s a new message.

Sorry, Mom. I was asleep. Or I was working.

Total relief from meandering worry, and the mess in our heads. Maybe we need to up the meds.


Thank you, Linda and Kim.

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 27th, 2022, is โ€œunderstanding.โ€ Use the word โ€œunderstandingโ€ any way youโ€™d like. Enjoy!

Understanding our differences and loving each other not just in spite, but because of said difference is the path to peace.

Even better, if we spend time to understand ourselves we’ll see our reflection in others.

When we cry or laugh together we show our understanding.

Okay maybe too glib but I believe these in my heart. I’m still working on all of it.

Note to Self



Black and white has been the constant of my life. It was the nightmares, yet the bright dreams, too. When earliest memories are of sitting in front of the keys and perfection demanded, black and white. No shades of gray.

Suddenly black and white was a super power. I dreamed my house was piano keys. That I had a swimming pool in my black and white kitchen no gray needed.

Per Ms. Hill:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is โ€œblack, gray, and white.โ€ย Use one, use โ€™em all. Bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!


Remember last year when we couldn’t remember what day it was? Yeah. Today.

Between recovering from the Monday doctor’s appointment/shopping trip, and finding myself unhappy with eating eggs, not doing that again, I’m so tired and confused.

Hope you are all having a smoother time of it.

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