Category: Mental Health/Personality



Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 13th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “close up/close-up.” Use the verbal phrase “close up” and/or the noun/adjective “close-up” somewhere in your post, or write a post in the spirit of the phrase. Have fun!

Photo by Andre Mouton on Pexels.com

A face only a mother could love or one more wrinkle? The close-up may not bring in the bucks, but what about personality? What about love? Those who are as touchy as a cactus or close up their hearts and hide from emotions are even less appealing. It isn’t easy to be around the monkey, for the energy is tough to keep up with. Walking on eggshells for the touchier relationships is tough, too.

I’ve been lucky enough to live with the types I mentioned and have to admit that as hard as it was, there were good times, too. The monkey is more fun than the cactus, but when those anti-touchy-feely types feel safe and can find their center, they can reveal their hearts of gold. Long, honest talks can bring understanding. It’s not easy. Early traumas can trigger anyone. Even me. Making me a part of the problem while hoping to be part of the solution. Yeah, bring it up close, and those gray hairs and wrinkles have good reasons to be there.

It’s a lot of work, don’t you think? And worth it.

Just like the leg warmers. And speaking of close-ups, the areas that I had to do decreases, look like little hearts. I think I see a correlation. Maybe not.

The stream went cold. Just like when our electricity went off a while ago. We finally got our foot of snow. Not enough to cover the bushes but it’s looking better.

If you click on the photo, you can see the snow close up. But you still can’t feel the cold.


Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 6th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “just do it.” Use the phrase “just do it” somewhere in your post, or write a post in the spirit of the phrase. Enjoy!

Edit: I just realized I didn’t put this picture in here. Oops!😂
Oops! I left out the fun one, too. Sorry for the edits!

Sorry I don’t know who this guy is.  But I found this GIF on Tenor.

Sir, I’m waiting for traffic to slow. In LA or Orange County you sometimes have to take a chance. I did and lived without my broken car for a couple weeks. Yes, the driver saw me but plowed right into the side of my car. Traffic down there is brutal. Kindness is hard to find.

I’m waiting to see if it’s something I really want. Dangers abound. The high dive has no rails out on the board. People have slipped and become vegetables from hitting their heads on the way down. What benefit will climbing all those rings and walking out into space give me? Experiences. Yes, I did it a few times. I gave it up because it was cold outside of the water. Time wasted from actual swimming.

I’m overcoming the fear of tomatoes flying. Irrational, yes. But what else keeps me from the stage. Just do it? I’ll look like a complete fool. The purpose? Experiences. And I grew to love singing on stage. It felt fantastic to relate to that many people at a time.

On the other hand I found dealing with folks one-on-one far scarier and daily. Everyone wants to fix me. Am I not allowed to have frustration without someone jumping in and telling me I’m wrong? Can I not melt down in some kind of space of my own? Aw, but that is a different topic. Not having a place for just me is getting so frustrating. Is it any wonder I don’t just do it? I don’t feel safe enough to express.

Ever.

Time to knit. My own world is soft and productive.

Not me. Chosen from the free photo library.

Snow is one of the most captivating weather I love to watch. Last night we had clear skies, star twinkling brightly. I went to bed a little discouraged. But lo and behold this morning the driveway is full of the wonderful white stuff.

If you have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD you recognize captivating behaviors. Either every thing has you flitting from one idea to another, or you are captured, or hyperfocused by something.  I love when I am held in that rapture, when I am learning something new.

I hate the flitting between captures. Spinning my wheels. Not getting anything done. But put up Duolingo and I can play for hours.

I used to sit in front of my piano and play and sing for hours. I wish and how I get captured by that again.

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 4th, 2024 is “captivating.” Use the word “captivating” any way you’d like. Enjoy!

Thank you, Linda, for the Just Jot It January fun. Click on the JusJoJan above to learn about how it all works.

Thank you, Wendy, for the prompt of the day. Check out her “Wendy’s Waffle” blog by clicking captivating above.

Me, on any given day, ADD.

Feeling Good: The New Mood TherapyFeeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If you are feeling suicidal or want to hurt someone else, please don’t rely on just a book. Find a therapist. If they don’t click with you, keep looking. Meanwhile, there is a lot this book can do for you if you put in the work.

My daughter recommended this book. She laughed and said she just loved the title. I had no idea what the book was like, so I picked up the audiobook on Libby.

A friend of mine and I have been working on our creativity. Trying to get the muses to work with us. In the process, we have found some glitches we keep running into. Feelings of not being good enough seem to scream at us, feeling stuck and unable to finish what we planned. These are just a couple of issues that have plagued us. While listening to this book, I saw so many ways that Doctor Burns’ methods could help those concerns and reach a few deeper, long-seated matters.

I have been in therapy in the past for depression and anxiety. The doctor even put me on disability. I fought against that one, but once he put me on the pharmaceuticals I knew I couldn’t do much. Each drug had so many side effects that it wasn’t long before I had to give them up. But I was left with more issues than I started. Working in public was not an option for quite a while. When depressed and feeling anxious, shaking, or gaining more weight doesn’t promote the self-esteem needed to meet anyone new. So I gave them up. If you find yourself in that position, try to have the doctor help you. My insurance ran out, and I was stuck figuring out how to get off those powerful chemicals. Titrating off is harder than titrating onto a drug. Anyway, with no one to help me, I had to find ways to cope. Writing helped. Being creative, even when I didn’t feel like it, helped get me out of my head. And it was nice to have a finished project to feel good about. I wish I would have had this book back then.

The only problem with the audio version from the library is that it didn’t come with all the charts, forms, and other thought instigators that are in the paper book, so I will buy it when I get paid.

David D. Burns often says that if you have a deeper problem than these cognitive-behavioral prompts can deal with, seek help. Meanwhile, they might help a little while you are looking for someone to assist you.

At first, my plan is to hit the creativity snags in my psyche using his methods. But deeper still will be health, exercise, and housekeeping. Because I think the method can be viewed from many levels and handle many problems. And having a friend to reflect with as we go through this together will help both of us. If it gets too heavy we’ll know when to gently suggest when we might need a professional. Hopefully, we won’t need that, but it is nice to get out of our heads and into productive living.

View all my reviews


I’m tired so I’ll only share a couple pics. Maybe tomorrow I’ll write more.

This rock called me to come climb but other campers were set up close so I chose to respect their space. Doesn’t this rock look like it’s talking to his rock friend?
This rock looked smiley, peaceful.
This looks like puppet rocks.
This one was full of personality.
A garden of rocks.
This tent has a skylight. It was great watching the stars at night.
Our tent. Lots of windows. Easy to put  up and take down. But we two senior ladies had to carry it. And it took a lot of room in the car. It’s a Gazelle.

More tomorrow.


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with over.” Find a word that starts with “over” and use it for your prompt. Enjoy!

Overwhelmed. I tend to get there. Easy. Too many passwords and ways to change them or keep them. Ugh! Hey, smart people help us less brilliant folks out.

Following this stream… It seems there aren’t enough hours in the day and energy to all the things I want to do or should do. Overwhelmed again.

ADD keeps me inspired to try this or that. Overwhelmed.

If you’ve followed my blog you will see this theme often. I think I have a handle on it, and it seems for a few days, I got it. That’s when I realize other things got left behind that needed to be done.

Bite sized pieces. That’s how we Overed people are supposed to handle it. But I think we need to be satisfied with accomplishments. Thus my blog. I’m not bragging when I share what I’ve finished or been working on. I’m just listing my trying to not feel Overwhelmed.

How I feel inside. Rarely seen outside by others.

Read top down, then bottom up.

I’m doing my best to be my usual positive self despite the mully grubs of reality.

Snow. Lots. Just not all at once. It gets to this level, melts and reflakes.

We’ve got a couple more hours then it will be windy.

Meanwhile, my therapy of knitting keeps my hands moving while I process life, pets, and loved ones no longer with us.

My son and his girlfriend are traveling up. Snow or no snow. These socks are for them.

Nearly all the yarn for both pairs has been used up. I hope I’m done by tomorrow evening when they get here.

The reason for their scary mission is a memorial for my first dear sister in love. That’ll be Saturday in Portland. For my son it will be a 12 hour or more drive in much worse conditions than we have here. That’s how beloved Barb was/is for us.

I wanted to go. But my body is telling me that’s too long to be in a car. I used to handle long drives. But, especially being emotionally distraught from the losses of my furry friends, it seems far too much.

My older son is being picked up by the younger couple on the mission. I must admit to being very worried for all of them. As much as I would love to see my nieces and nephews, and sharing my condolences, I just can’t. I think I’ll write a letter or record my thoughts for them.

All of this plays on the huge housecleaning we need from our poor sickly Kali. We’ve done some but we are exhausted and can’t do as much as our younger selves could have accomplished.

One thing at a time. Doing what we can with what we’ve got. Sending and accepting love. Healthy mind and body.

Depression


I usually try to be uplifting. But situational depression is attacking. Cold, windy weather,

Treadmill broken waiting for companies to do their part in replacing or fixing this unit.

Probably the biggest weight is my poor dog as she goes downhill. Nothing we can do. It’s part of life.

And my therapy is knitting. Unfortunately I’ve spent today making and tinking two heels. A whole day just to get back where I started.

Something I learned in real therapy is to look for the good of the day. Okay. I got my resistance bands in the mail. I plan to try them out tomorrow.

I did get a bit of editing done. I just wonder how much my mental state affects my writing and knitting. Maybe I should take a couple days off and knit hats and color. Then it might be more soothing to my spirit.

What do you do when life sucks and you want to cheer up?


Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “me.” Find a word that starts with “me” or use the word “me” as the theme of your post. Have fun!

Message me, I tapped.

Meanwhile, no answer. Nothing is worse than a lack of response. Especially if you are a mom.

We moms have huge imaginations. If there is a worse case scenario we’ve witnessed it in our heads. From that idea comes the litany of emotional repercussions. They hate us. We hurt them unbearably, we’re sure.

Rationale doesn’t hit. We have to work to find it.

Finally, there’s a new message.

Sorry, Mom. I was asleep. Or I was working.

Total relief from meandering worry, and the mess in our heads. Maybe we need to up the meds.

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