I don’t know how I’m supposed to stream when it’s snowing so beautifully at the moment.
But it does quiet the mind to reflect. When you can’t remember why you walked down the hallway just moments ago, it’s nearly impossible to think of a whole year.
I think it has been a harder year. Loss grew. Angels and Rocks of loving friends passed. My elderly furry friends passed. I suppose, that’s life. And at 75 it is more usual than younger ages.
Depression tries to grab sadness and sink to it’s depths. Been there, done that, took the horrible prescriptions and found my way out. Now I know to recognize it and work through it. I win quite often. Sometimes I don’t. But I have the map out.
Gratitude. Just like when I was in full body pain, I looked for the hair follicle that didn’t hurt and mentally increased the tiny lack of pain and was happy to find it. So it has been with depression. Finding the happy wonderful thoughts about what/who was lost and being grateful I got to experience that deep love guides me out.
This year was that constant struggle. But I found my passions and goals moved the time.
I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated how even these old bodies and minds can grow healthier.
Who knew I’d be looking back at a growing ability to ride the stationary bike so consistently and increase time, length, or power level.
In fact, this year taught me about how to grow a FUN habit. Notice the capitalize word. It’s key.
Here comes an idea. I’d like to try that. Hey, that was fun. And we keep it in small commercial lengths. A minute, two minutes, five. I’m up to 45 fun minutes playing piano now. Who knew I could do it? Piano has been a psychological problem most of my life. I was forced, even quite physically. But I love music.
So I played a couple of minutes. Then I tried other musical instruments to see what they had for me. The same way. Tiny bits at a time. Those helped my brain to twist to new passions.
It worked first for Duolingo. As long as I do even the smallest, what, 5 minutes? Just keep my brain there once a day. It grows and shrinks with all that goes on and my own curiosity.
Knitting, well, yarning, has been that way. Learn a bit and the passion grew. And abilities.
But there are things that try to stop the growth. At this age, arthritis and other aches and pains, and distractions can make one pause.
Creativity cries to be expressed, even when we judge ourselves horrid. If we make it fun, um, with a spoonful of sugar, we grow, we learn.
So that sums up my year. In spite of darkness, pain, and sadness find the spark of interest and make a moment of fun. Be curious. Grow passion. Flake upon flake…
Darswords 
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