Darswords

The fork in the road is one we revisit often. Should I have said or done this? And, of course, with the benefit of hindsight, we know what we would have said or done. I guess that is why we aren’t given that knowledge when it would have been helpful.

I should have told her, when she complained of being so tired, to call the doctor immediately. But all I knew then was that she just needed to rest. Not that my COVID-addled brain knew more than coughing and needing to sleep. I was finally over the fever but my friends and I check in on each other often. And of the three musketeers who had known each other for a couple decades we knew age, pain, and strengths of each other.

You know the Bible verse about entertaining angels unawares? I have and sometimes got the breeze from the wings. Michele was one of those

One of the forks in my life. My adult children all moved north. It made no sense to stay. So my husband and I moved north. Before the move, I looked up NaNoWriMo, writing groups, BookCrossing groups.

I found the writers and readers of the new community and found myself at home. Even if my adult children were busy with their jobs and lives, I found my people.

That Writers’ Group set up a lot of friendships for me. I think you have to be quite vulnerable to write inner thought while in a group. This group was open and welcoming. That was due to the one on the left and the one on the right.

Anyway (this stream is so hard to write!),the Sunday night after I finally was fever-free, one of my friends went in for emergency surgery. The very next day the other friend had a heart attack. It was touch and go for both. I’m 6 hours away from them. I couldn’t do anything for either of them. Sadly, Michele passed, or as her daughter said, she gained her wings. I always believed she had wings.

One of the hard parts of writing this is the heart-heavy stuff I want to say I can’t as deeply as I’d like because I don’t want to bring personal names here, to protect both friends.

Michele was raised in a abusive family and then had a few relationships that were equally horrid. But she decided early on to not raise her children in that kind of environment. She found a religion that served her heart, and she dedicated herself to love, God, family, and friends. She was one of those people that didn’t preach. Her love was in how she took care of everyone. Always patient. Always feeling empathy for others. Helping as much as she could, in any way she could. See, she already had the wings. I am going to miss her so much and yet, I feel she will be watching over her family and friends as much as ever, except now, I pray, she is painfree.

My other friend is still in medical care. She had that surgery and hasn’t been able to eat food or even move around for the stitches up and down her abdomen. I wish I could be with her and help her through this nightmare that is both physical and emotional, having lost our mutual friend.

I feel awful that I couldn’t say goodbye to Michele. We did chat on Instant Messenger so at least I know our last conversation was loving and hopeful towards our friend who had the surgery. We had decided we didn’t want to worry the one in the hospital surgery department. But of course with Facebook we can all see what is happening by a peek on our phones.

And my friend in the hospital still had a fever yesterday, and all I can hope is that she has had visitors and rest as I don’t want to call and wake her. Please pray for my friends and their friends and family. I don’t mind a few coming my way. I’m trying not to revisit forks in the road, traveled or not.

Love

Forever and always.